Monday, April 16, 2007

Autobiography1-draft one

I am Yun-Ling Yan, a seventeen-year-old happy girl from Kaohsiung. I have an English name called Giovana. There are four people in my sweet family. My father is gernerous and a disinterested policeman. When I was child, he caring about my schoolwork very much. My mother is a housewife and she is good at cooking, the dishes she cooks are delicious and tasty. My older brother studies in Department Electrical Engineering at the Southern University. So, he is always a good example to me that I have learn from him more. I love the warm and comfortable feeling of my family. I must say I am very lucky enough to grow in such a great home.

My favorite hobby is swimming. It makes my body and physical strong. When I was five grades at elementary school, my older brother swims very well. Since then, I began to learn swimming conscientiously. Whenever I have free time, I always go swimming with my family. On the other hand, I also like some quiet activities like singing songs and handicraft.

1 Comments:

At 1:04 AM , Blogger :V,瀞 ”婷* said...

My father is gernerous and a disinterested policeman.

→my father is (a) gernerous and ...

he caring about my → he cared about my..

at cooking, the dishes she
→用句號連接會比較好

my older brother swims →swam

I also like some quiet activities like singing songs and handicraft.
覺得你還可以加一句再結束會比較好
→I think they are interesting very much.

 

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