A Report Card-Draft one
Someday, John’s father is sitting on the sofa in the living room. John is standing next to his father. His father holds a report card from John’s school. When the father looks a report card, he looks angry and shakes his head, then tells his son if he can surpass to yourself, he’ll the first on his class. Finally, his son thanks his father and says he can study harder more than before.
posted by 飛飛飛 @ 7:25 PM
4 Comments
4 Comments:
When the father looks a report card, he looks angry and shakes his head,....我覺得可以改成
-->looking a report card, the father is shaking with angry.
...,then tells his son if he can surpass to yourself.
-->then tells his son if he can surpass [himself].
on his class 我覺得用in ㄝ
時態用過去是不是會比較好呀!!
if = in case
someday要改成onedaｙ比較好！這篇文章應該是過去式～
he looks angry and shakes his head這一句有兩個動詞…所以shakes要改成shaking
then tells his son if he can surpass to yourself→ yourself改成himself(一致性）
he can study harder more than before.
怪怪的…can 改成will …（大概是吧？！）
整篇用過去式比較好~
其他都被別人改過了~
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