My Bedroom-draft one
My bedroom is full of picture place. As you enter the door, the first thing you notice is a very big Christmas tree next to my desk. On this tree, you can see many decorations in it. Such as love shape, stars, and a slice of Christmas light. And the light is blue, that sounds like a wrinkle everywhere. My desk is next to the bed. The bookcase is on the desk above where I can get my books and magazines. On the window above, there is a famous art picture that my best friend buys it for me on my birthday. My cute clock is on above of the door. I think my bedroom is the most beautiful room in our house.
posted by 飛飛飛 @ 4:59 AM
5 Comments
5 Comments:
1. On this tree, you can see many decorations in it.
-->You can see many decorations on this tree.
2. Such as love shape, stars,...
-->我覺得shape應該加在stars後面
3.And the light is blue, that sounds like a wrinkle everywhere.
-->這句好像怪怪的
4.The bookcase is on the desk above where I can get my books and magazines.
-->The bookcase is above the desk, and I can get my books and magazines easily.
5.On the window above,...
-->Above the window,..
6.my best friend buys it for me
-->用bought
箭頭的部份是我覺得的..所以僅供參考喔!!
My bedroom is full of picture place.這句好像有點怪耶…你是要說”我的房間是一個充滿圖片的地方”嗎？那應該是My bedroom where is full of pictures.圖片要記得加”s”
On this tree, you can see many decorations in it. Such as love shape, stars, and a slice of Christmas light. And the light is blue, that sounds like a wrinkle everywhere.還有這裡…你是不是有點離題了？
"Such as love shape,..."
這個是說...心型嗎?怪怪的，心型應該是heart shape
"the first thing you notice is a very big Christmas tree next to my desk."
我覺得那個the first thing you notice怪怪的，或許加個can會比較好。
The bookcase is on the desk above where I can get my books and magazines.
可以改成The bookcase which I can get my books and magazines is above the desk.
As you enter the door
可以改成 entering the door
And the light is blue ,that...→不需","
my best friend buys it for me on my birthday.→buys 改成bought
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